They dreamed of a day when all natural fibers, and all of nature itself, would be a thing of the past. Mere remnants of an inconvenient age where cotton had to grow and be picked, sheep had to be shorn, and cows had to be…well, thunked on the head and peeled, they imagined.

Their plan to destroy the earth’s bounty grew from their love of easy-to-care-for acrylic, polyester and naugahyde. Even their wigs and false eyelashes were made of wind-resistant orlon. And soon their daily regime of aerosol sprays and backyard plastic bonfires would render the world safe from stains and wrinkles.

It was the only way.

The way into the future!