Building an exact replica of the Enterprise’s Main Bridge in your parents’ basement: $4,275 Knitting lessons so you could make your own uniforms: Free at your grandma’s house, as long as your promise to try a sport when the weather gets nice out. The sound of your girlfriend’s adoring voice as you describe the Uhura mini-dress you’ve made for her: $3.95 for the first minute and just $2 a minute after that. Connection fees may apply. Must be 18 or[...]

Once the walls had been covered in aluminum foil and she was able to tan from the comfort of her own home, Paloma McYarnpants was ready to decorate! She spent weeks digging thorough the dumpsters at local art galleries until finally, her dream living room was complete. If only she’d known about the upcoming auction at the Museum of Bad Art. Then she wouldn’t have had to wade through all that discarded brie and pate. She could really use one[...]

Hey kids, guess what!? The Museum of Kitschy Stitches has been nominated for a Webby Award! It’s true! Ain’t that a kick in the ample pants? We’re here with the adorable Hipsey Twins and they’re going to tell us how you can help the Museum’s creator and curator, Stitchy McYarnpants, win the prize. A prize which may or not be a sexy, leg-shaped lamp! So tell us, Harold, what is a Webby Award? My pants itch. I have itchy yarnpants.[...]

Eager to capitalize on celebrate the newly emerging wedding market, we at the American Homosexual Craft Council went to work to produce the ultimate Same Sex Wedding gift. Scientists, statisticians and nosy neighbors were assembled to perform exhaustive research. The front porches and rear bumpers of gay citizens everywhere were analyzed and finally, we are proud to offer what is sure to be the biggest seller during the upcoming Civil Ceremony Season. It is with great pleasure that we present[...]

Mary and Jane were perplexed and vaguely amused by this strange new concept. Color? On yarn? What an outlandish idea. Why would anyone do such a thing? After all, the sensible rainbow of yellows, browns, and off-yellowish-browns they’d dressed in all their lives had been plenty. This seemed almost . . . vulgar and unnecessary. Unbeknownst to them, the Grande Dame of color, Miss Beulah Von Featherglitter (of the New Orleans Featherglitters), was standing right behind them. They didn’t know[...]