Spend your days relaxing poolside or floating around that bactieria frappe at your condo in confidence! Whether emerging from your watery lair or descending into it, now you can count on the moisture-wicking capabilities of Suckcrylic brand fiber! Never again will you suffer the embarrassment of a sopping wet swimming sweater or a soggy hairpiece that leaks.* *Warning: Suckrylic brand fiber makes no claims against Frightened Turtle Syndrome, commonly known as “shrinkag”. In cases of FTS lasting more than four[...]

In her youth, Beverly was a lively brunette with a sparkle in her eye and a spring in her step. And then she made vacation plans that would change her life forever. It’s a little known fact that the owners of the Hotel California ran a ski lodge before expanding their franchise in the hospitality-of-the-damned business. And so Bev spent, and indeed, is still spending an eternity in the Ski Lodge California. Sure, she checked out, but she never could[...]

These lousy kids and their new-fangled sexual education. Why, back in MY day we had to figure it out for ourselves. We didn’t have fancy charts and facts and armitronically correct dolls to help us on our way. We had moonshine, the back seat of pa’s Model T, and crocheted marital aids from the church bazaar and we did just fine! *Dammit, I did it again. It’ not crocheted, it’s knitted. I think I’m so used to seeing stockinette that[...]

The Mock and Roll Tour 2006 is ON! 9/23 – Hadley, MA – BARNES & NOBLE, 2pm (335 Russell St) 10/6 – Brooklyn, NY – BARNES & NOBLE, 7:30pm (267 Seventh Ave) 10/13 – Cambridge, MA – PORTER SQUARE BOOKS, 7pm (25 White St) 10/14 – West Hartford, CT – SIT-N-KNIT, 1pm (33 LaSalle Rd) 10/18 – Paramus, NJ – BARNES & NOBLE, 7:30pm (765 Rt 17 S) 10/28 (may change) – Concord, NH – THE ELEGANT EWE, 1pm (71[...]