I think someone forgot to tell micro-mommy that the pattern for this skating skirt also comes in adult sizes. I bet she wouldn’t have listened, though. I sense a turbulent daytime-televisionesque relationship blossoming here. Prom night is going to be disastrous for little Susie Ryan, I just know it.

She’ll come down the stairs in the new frilly frock that her mom made and blush demurely when her boyfriend’s eyes turn into saucers as she descends. She’ll feel so special, so pretty, at long last. Then she’ll realize that her mom is right behind her in a pair of taffeta hot pants made from the leftover material. And so are the days of the lives of all our children, so young and restless. But that’s how it is when you just have one life to live, you’ve just got to follow that guiding light and do your best to be bold and beautiful as the world turns. Luckily, there’s a killer rehab program at General Hospital.