We are sock knitter. Our singular goal is the consumption of sock yarn. We seek to amass all the sock yarn in the universe into our collective for the purpose of sock knitting. Adaptation to various methods of sock knitting is inevitable. We will use our hive mind to knit socks until there are no more socks to knit. Our socks will be of all colors, patterns, and size. We will not be stopped, we will not be swayed, we will not be conquered, we will only knit socks. In this version of sock knitting, we used KnitPicks dye-our-own sock yarn. We dyed it at Julia of Nine’s yarn dying party some time ago.

 

We encountered a small technical glitch with this little side piece which we believe is identified as the gusset, but we’re not entirely affirmative. It’s the sector in which we reunite the heel with the sock. It appears that we need to adapt our skills to avoid future iterations of this irregularity.

We will now focus our laser eyesight on the background of the initial visual representation of the socks. They are cat. More accurately, they are large cat in a small box. They are silly and cute. Soon they, too, will be sock knitter.

 

Resistance is futile.

 

Just had to pop in to say that I’ve been trying to post, but every time I get a second, something comes up. So I’m just going to do a lickety-split update for now.

1. Circles Salon in JP is offering a 10% discount to all Team Boston members for supplies used in their Olympic project. How cool is that?! And it’s 15% on the day of the Opening Ceremonies. And since we’re all going to meet at Doyles that night for our own opening ceremony, and it is right around the corner, well, we all know what has to happen. Last minute preparations are the best!

2. Mittens are finished and they’re faboo! Can’t wait to make more. They’re made with Rowan’s Cashsoft Aran. I used a little over one ball of the color “Burst” and about half to three-quarters of a ball of “Oat”. So now I have leftover yarn, which means if I buy a little more, I can make another pair. And if I have any of that left over, I’ll just get a wee bit more and I’ll just keep knitting aaand knitting aaand knitting aaand knitting aaand knitting.

 

3. Loooooook! With the kind and patient help of the adorably curvaceous Ms. Melanie, I am now fully qualified to operate dpns! Do you see any ladders? No, you don’t. She has taught me well and now I’m totally hooked on this sock thing! I know, it seems I’m always late to the party. Chloe here looks like she could use some socks, doesn’t she?

 

4. It would seem that Owen and Mzee have started the ball rolling and other creatures are joining in! Is this just a publicity stunt by the Union of the Snakes* to make themselves appear more likeable? Time will tell. Meanwhile, little “Meal” the hamster should probably sleep with one eye open, just in case.

5. Mike has requseted that I make him the cashmere pullover from Weekend Knitting. I tried to explain that it was a ladies sweater, but he would have none of it. He also would like me to make it from his own luxurious fur.

 

I’ve done my best to make this fur harvest as painless as possible.

6. I also want to chime in that I had a fantastic time at Claudia’s a week and a half ago, but I was remiss in posting my joy. It was a blast and Claudia is a super hostess. The food was amazing and my fellow guests were as delightful as ever. As promised, here is the recipe I used to make my mom’s brownies. They’re more like a dense chocolate cake. I feel like I have to say that, because they aren’t what you’d expect when you say “brownies”, but they’re way more than you’d exect if you simply said “cake”.

Stella’s Killer Chocolate Brownies

Mix in bowl:
2 cups sugar
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda

Bring to boil in saucepan:
1¼ bars butter**
4 tbsp. cocoa (I used the Dutch Processes dark cocoa, and I used about five)
1 cup water

Add hot ingredients to flour mixture slowly, mixing constantly

Once they’re combined, add:
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla (but really, who can stop at one?)

Bank in 9×13 pan at 350 for 20-25 minutes.

Frosting: (this also helps when you’re having a massive craving for fudge. You can whip up a little bit in minutes. Trust me.)

Melt:
¼ cup butter
4 tbsp. cocoa (again, just four, mom?)
7 tbsp (approx) milk
¾ box powdered sugar (add it slowly, mixing it in completely before adding more. Stop before it gets too dry. It should be shiny and goopy.)

Frost immediately while everything is still hot. That way, all you have to do is kind of pour the frosting on and smear it around a little. It will melt pretty smoothly over the hot brownies. Cut into small squares so it doesn’t seem like you’re eating that many.

**edited for our foreign, potentially metric-using friends. A bar/stick of butter = 1/2 cup = 8 tablespoons = 4 ounces = 113.3980925 grams. Here, check this out, a whole page just for butter conversion!! I’m going to marry the internet someday, I love it so.

*Yes, I was a big fan of Duran Duran, why do you ask?

 

 

 

I love that I have to convince people of that. Yes, she who shares the contents of everything from her uterus to her cats’ litter box with everyone on the internets, is shy. I was once referred to in high school as “That girl who never says anything.” I live in mortal fear of speaking in front of large groups of people. It’s all a sham, people. Stitchy is really a hermit. Luckily, I am a yarn-seeking hermit, so I can actually be drawn out of my shell at times. And it is a lot easier when confronted with a gaggle of giggling knitters.

So Laurie is right. I was rather restrained in my stash enhancement last weekend. I did a pretty good job of sticking to my budget. But I also forgot to include some stuff. Whoopsie. It’s because it was all put away. Out of sight, out of mind – you know how it is. I got a bunch of stuff for needle felting. I got a cool tool that holds six needles at once, five blobs of pretty roving to make an assortment of cuties, and some foam felting boards to keep you from stabbing your legs from FeltCrafts. They were extremely helpful, the woman at the booth actually ran to her car to get some extra needles for me. I shall be patronizing them again. I also got a bag of more felting fluff from Misty Mountain Farms. There are even bits of curly wool in there that should be really interesting to work with.

I don’t have pictures of all that stuff, but I do have a finished object! I made a little Rhinebeck mascot. Of course, right before I finished, I saw that Juno has already found one (see the last photo of the demon sheep of Rhinebeck). Drat! Oh well, I pressed on and came up with this little dude.

Please meet Spendy, the Spokessheep of Rhinebeck.

 

Spendy says “Baaaaaaaaa more stuff!” He has bendable arms and legs (well, technically, they’re all legs) so he can help point out all the things you need.

You can also see that he’s been hanging out at the fried dough cart for a little too long. Just look at that belly! Our little Spendy does not make good choices when it comes to fair fare. He should have just had that salad. Oh well. “Fraaaaaa more dough!”
 

And in the comments, Kristy asked about the recipe for the felted bear I made a while ago. I got the instructions and kit from Living Felt. It’s such a gratifying use of fiber, I can’t recommend trying it enough. Now that I think of it, I actually bought the kit from Marr Haven. Both places have lots of cool felting stuff, so check ‘em both out!

And in other news, I have embarked upon the classic battle between woman and beast. No, not Jon. Not the cats. A squirrel. In our basement. When first discovered, he was napping in a box of leftover decorations from my wedding. He came flying out when Charlene walked by and startled him. My brother, unaware of Charlene’s encounter, thought someone had left one of their cats down there because garbage cans were knocked over, bottles from on top of the fridge were smashed on the floor, and there were little footprints all over the toilet seat where someone had perched to get a drink. I believe there were also some little footprints on his laundry that was hanging down there. Later, I was putting away a rake after some long avoided yard work and heard the skittering of tiny paws in the ceiling. So I tapped here and there until I startled him and he came flying out of a hole and ran to the other side of the basement along the pipes. Apparently, this squirrel is wound real tight. He needs to chill. If he would just come out and sit on my shoulder, he would get so many treats and smooches, his head would spin*. But he wants to do this the hard way.

Honestly, I was just worried that he was hungry. But it turns out he also found the birdseed we had down there. So I got a Have-a-Heart trap. It’s all steel and noisy and clanky, so from the squirrel’s standpoint, this is actually a Have-a-Heartattack trap. Jon and I set it up, we even included some treats that we’d just gotten for our own under-documented hamster, Wuzzy. We’ve been checking the trap regularly since yesterday. I moved it closer to his water supply today, though I refuse to admit it was just for his convenience. I checked it a short while ago and it looks like he had himself a lovely snack. But he didn’t hang around for the actual trapping or anything. He did, however, leave a bunch of empty seed shells for me to clean up.

Squirrel 1
Stitchy – 0

*Don’t worry, I don’t plan on kissing the squirrel when I catch him. He’s going right outside.

 

 

Man is that a cute baby!

Anyway, I have a couple of finished objects! ~gasp~

I finished Maxx’s sweater and he looks very dashing in it. He loves wearing little outfits and does a good job of lifting his front legs to help put them on. He’s a good guy, that Maxxie. I recently discovered that he spells his name with two “x”s and I think it makes him even more of a stud. I learned of this odd spelling in a most peculiar way. Maxx’s owner is a dear friend named Ronnie. Ronnie’s mom was an amazing woman who passed away last week after a long battle with lymphoma. It was impossible not to love Carolyn. And she loved Maxx to smithereens, often taking him with her and her husband on weekend getaways to their vacation house. Carolyn left strict instructions to have a bouquet of peach roses from Ronnie’s and his sister’s dogs and cats placed at the head of her casket. When we went to pay our respects to her at the wake, there was a lovely bouquet from Oliver, Felix, Maxx, and Miss Kitty right beside her. It’s always such a great relief when someone can provide you with a smile at such a solemn occasion, and when it’s the guest of honor that’s providing that smile, it’s even better. It was such a perfect testament to the kind of lady she was.

I managed to get the sweater knit just in time for her to see it, though I hadn’t gotten the buttons on it yet. Knitting this was a major stress reliever, I did it all on the day before seeing Carolyn for the last time. We all knew it was going to be the last time and I didn’t know what else to do with myself, so I made a tiny sweater for her grandpup. I’m glad Ronnie doesn’t have a Great Dane!

So here is Carolyn’s special little guy in his brand new sweater. The buttons don’t hold it closed, they’re just decorative. And I could have sworn I sewed them on straight. Maybe the sweater is just a little twisted from being on a wiggly dog body.

 

It has a pocket on the back so he can carry his favorite toy or maybe a few extra bucks for some Snausages in case he gets hankering during his walk.

 

Wow, I didn’t realize how much that sweater meant to me until just now.

And here is another thing I’ve finished as a thank you to someone who’s helped me out tremendously recently. There’s just something about being able to make a handmade gift for someone. So much gets poured into it that it feels much more real than buying a gift. I’m really happy with the way this turned out. I forgot to take a picture of the inside, but I lined it and attached an old-fashioned label from Charm Labels that said “From the needles of Stitchy McYarnpants” inside. I also attached metal grommets to the inside of the lining. I did this mainly because the grommets wouldn’t fit over the felted fabric, but I think they might have ruined the look of the bag if they had been on the outside. Don’t ever let anyone tell you to just “pop in some grommets, it’s easy!” It ain’t. Not by a longshot. I ended up tossing the stupid little grommeting tool off to the side and just smashed the crap out of each one with a hammer. Turns out it was the only way to get them to attach themselves. Sure, they got all banged up and dented, but it looks more homemade that way. Yeah, that’s it. Dented = Fine Handmade Quality.

 

Hooray for finished objects! Hooray for heartfelt offerings of yarny goodness! Hooray for cute doggies! Hooray for smashing crap with hammers! Hooray!

 

Second, thanks to Jessica who left this link in the comments . I’m delighted but mostly embarrassed to tell you that I am working on a guinea pig outfit for my friend Peter’s g-pig, Eve. I knitted up a lacy swatch using light blue Geisha from the nether regions of my stash. I also did a non-lacy one in Berroco Suede. He decided that Eve was more of a tomboy . . . er . . . tompig? . . . so he felt she’d be less self-conscious in the suede. So I’m designing a little western vest for dear, sweet little Eve. She has black fur and will look very comely in her new outfit. It’s going to be fairly simple at the top, done in tan with some YO “cutouts” near the bottom. There will be a small, hot pink border and some pink fringe. Franklin, Peter’s other g-pig will be very jealous and I’m sure we’ll have to accommodate him somehow.

Third – lookie what I made over the weekend!

 

It’s a dog sweater for my friend Ronnie’s rat terrier, Max. It even has a pocket so he can carry his stuff around. Currently, his favorite toy is Zero from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Zero fits into the pocket perfectly. We had a fitting and it worked out really well. The pattern is from Patons “Another Dog’s Life” (and yes, I do intend to make the Dogasaurus Rex on the cover. Oh yes.) The instructions originally didn’t have me add the green button band between the leg holes. Now, I don’t know what the hell kind of dogs they’ve got up in Paton’s country, but Max isn’t some circus sideshow freak with his front legs two inches apart. Sheesh! So I added the button band to get a perfect fit. I’ll just weave front shut and I’m going to add some old-fashioned wooden barrel buttons to give it a rustic look. I used maybe a little more than one skein of blue Wool Ease for the body and half a skein of the green for the edging and pocket. Surprisingly, Max took a size Medium. I’ll get photos of him in it as soon as possible!

Dot remains unimpressed. (I wish I could spend my day taking tongue baths in the laundry basket, but the NutroMax doesn’t pay for itself, now does it?) Apparently her toes are far more interesting than my sudden need to rid the world of animal nudity.

 

Well, we’ve seen just about enough of all eight of her nipples around our house. She and Chloe are getting Koigu tubes top, whether they like it or not. And although they’ve both been neutered, Chi-Chi and Mike could each do with a pair of cashmerino underwear.

*Darn! The Guinea Pig dress link doesn’t seem to be working right now. Maybe it will come back. Just know that if you Google “Guinea Pig Dress”, oh my lord in heaven, you will get the most fantastic “accidental” link I’ve ever seen. It’s to a site called Roadfood.com (no, it’s not all recipes for roadkill as I was hoping), and the preview of the match goes like this:

“My grandmother could take a guinea pig, dress it, rub it with spice and oil, and bake it in a slow oven until it tasted just as good as the finest muskrat”.

Fan-friggin-tastic. Is Google not the coolest thing ever? How did we ever live without it?

 

 

 

Ze Scoop, she is done! Hazah! Please ignore the fat-headed picture. It was the best of the lot and we were out of paper bags.

 

A few facts about our little Scoopie:

She was lovingly handcrafted from 6 skeins of TLC Cotton Plus in Kiwi. The pattern was written for Cotton Ease and the gauge in Cotton Plus was off a little, so I went up a needle size. Her bust size is 40” (ooh la la) and her measurements are just as the pattern says they should be. She likes puppies and long walks in the rain, mainly because she’s machine washable. Scoopie is currently not attached because she has no buttons, but hopefully that will change soon, if the right buttons come along. She’s looking for a little glamour, some sizzle to brighten up her days and nights.

Here’s another, more jarring look at da Scoop. I forgot to put it away after I measured it and it was instantly descended upon. No worries, I rescued it before Dot got her choppers on it. But check out that biscuit action shot!

 

Last Saturday, I attended a fantastic yarn dyeing party hosted by the delightful Julia at Moth Heaven (trust me, it is a name well deserved. Her stash room is the stuff that moth folklore is made of.). After initial alarm at hearing that I was going to Julia’s to dye and thinking he’d have to take care of the cats on his own from now on, Jon asked if we were going to buy anything. I tried to explain that just because we were going out on a yarn-related adventure, it didn’t mean that we were going to be making any purchases. Knitters can actually have an afternoon where they don’t buy anything at all. And then Kellee ended buying a drum carder from another knitter (I can’t remember who), so I stand corrected. I guess we can’t have those kinds of days.

Also, I got a special treat from Teresa at Knitting the Blues (who was wearing the tank top that I have so admired.) She was trying to de-stash and I got this pretty cotton chenille in “Stone”. I’m not sure what I’m going to make, but it’s going to be soft and it’s going to be pretty, dammit! Thank you, Teresa!! It was great to meet you and help myself to your yarn. Here is Chloe, modeling the yarn. She’s a nice shade of Ginger Sand. It goes well with Stone, doesn’t it

And here is the yarn I dyed. It was kindly donated to me by Kellee because I just couldn’t get it together enough to get my own. Its KnitPicks previously undyed sock yarn. Hmmm, there’s a theme here of people handing things over to me. I like it. Knitters are wonderful, as it turns out. And for that, I’m very thankful.

 

The top one is hopefully going to stripe in purple and green with little pink dots here and there. Hopefully. Maybe. Who knows. The other one is sort of randomly splotched with color.

You can see that one side of the skein is entirely different that the other when you peek inside. This could prove to be totally heinous, but again, we’ll see. I am officially motivated to make some socks now. Does anyone have a favorite, easy pattern for sock virgins? * filthy innuendos deleted *

And to continue in the I’m-too-lazy-to-do-it-myself, I got a new winter coat yesterday! Charlene went shopping and couldn’t decide between two coats, so she bought both and just figured I’d want whichever one she decided against. She was absotootely correct! Its wool, has big buttons, and is very smarly tailored. It’s an actual flattering, girly coat. A far cry from my usual shapeless lump of a winter coat. I tried to get a picture, but black wool is kind of hard to capture. Just trust me on this one.

Plus . . . .

It’s a J-Lo. Because, you know, I’m still Stitchy from the block. You have to love a line of fashion clothing that has a category called “Dresses & Jumpsuits”. I can only imagine how I would look in a JLo jumpsuit. The mind reels. Then wretches. Then throws up a little.

 

 

 

Holy crap! Almost three weeks gone and you’re still here. Thanks! You’ll never believe what’s been going on. It’s been quite a time, let me tell you. First, I was locked in Sam’s meat locker with Bobby and Greg. Man it was cold and those two are total whiners! It’s a good thing Bobby is such a shrimp, otherwise he never would have fit out the window. And since he was the one who shut the door in the first place, he pretty much had to or Greg and I would have killed and butchered him for Sam’s special of the day.

When we finally got out, we all went on a vacation to Hawaii together. You know, to take the edge off. Well, it turns out we were cursed by some ridiculous tchotchke. Yes, it’s clearly the tiki’s fault that there was a spider on the tropical island. And heaven forbid we should all just admit that Greg may not be the greatest surfer in the universe. Yes, let’s all blame the knick-knack from the hotel’s gift shop. But meeting Vincent Price was awesome. I totally thought he was dead.

So after that whole fiasco, Jan became delusional and thought she was dating a boy named George Glass. It was really sad. She actually made arrangements to have the operator call the house so everyone would think she was getting hot and heavy with “George” on the other line. Pathetic. Honey, I don’t think it’s the freckles that are scaring people away. It was almost as bad as that time Cindy had a psychotic break and thought she was Shirley Temple or when Marcia thought her dentist was hitting on her. I think maybe Carol wasn’t as careful with her pregnancies as she should have been, if you know what I mean.

Well, when Mike and Carol finally got everyone’s meds straight, this little kid named Oliver showed up and he looked like trouble, so I got the hell out of there.

So since I’ve been back, I’ve done some knitting. I am in the very unfortunate position of having someone to make a chemo cap for. My friend’s mom has lymphoma and is going back in for treatment. She will be having more than her share of no-hair days in the weeks to come. I figured she could use a fun little hat and scarf set. The hat uses a single ball of Berroco Chinchilla and since I used two colors, I used the leftovers for a little scarf. Here is a free pattern for the chemo cap. I casted on a few times using a cable cast-on so the edge would have some stretch to it and just didn’t think that size 9 needles were going to make the hat big enough. The row of 60 stitches just looked so short. I switched to size 10 needles and still had my doubts, but lo and behold, the thing grew. I probably would have been fine with the 9s. When I showed it to some friends, they each wanted a set, and I’m going to make one for my mom, too. I’ve never dared to use double-pointed needles, but I had to switch from circulars at the very end. All I can say is that I need practice.

 

I’m also chugging along on the Stitch n Bitch Hoodie. I’m hoping to have it done by next weekend, but we’ll see what happens. My mother-in-law is coming next weekend and we’re going to collect my mother and head to Patterworks on Sunday! Wheeee . . . I mean, I’m on a yarn diet, but I’m sure it will be pleasant to just do some browsing.

The color in this picture is washed out, but this is the front, back, and finished sleeve. I just have a sleeve and a hood to go.

 

And here is Mike helping me show off the front pocket. I’m very proud of this part. It came out way better that I thought it would.

 

And here is a random bit of cuteness to help you on your way. Behold the Chloe sandwich!

 

Oh, by the way. On my way back from Hawaii, I stopped by the Museum of Kitschy Stitches. They sorted out the plumbing problem (apparently all of the toilets exploded last month and they had to cancel the exhibit), and it looked like they were putting the finishing touches on a brand new gallery!

 

 

 

And snowed. And snowed some more. I don’t have any pictures because I’m in sweats and don’t feel like putting shoes on. So there. What I can tell you is that the 2-foot-tall stone wall across the street is no longer visible. This was a good one. I just can’t believe that local TV stations are so happy to forgo all other programming to have people yap on about the fact that it’s snowy here in New England. From what they were saying over and over, Plymouth got hit really hard. I hope Melanie and her mister are ok and have a full supply of hot cocoa! Cuddle up and keep warm, kids!

So, last Sunday was my mom’s birthday and I took her to Patternworks to pick out some fancy shmancy stuff to get her stash going. She just started knitting again, so she’s stashless at the moment. That won’t last for long, not if I have anything to say about it. It turns out that my parents live just a half an hour away from Patternworks. This is dangerous news. They may see an increase in visits from now on. Jon, my dad, and my brother were also with us. Like at Christmas, my dad drove and we kids were in the back. The men did quite well in the store. Jon didn’t try to run away (he was securely fasted to the door with some lovely Rowan Plaid), my sister-in-law is a new knitter so my bro got her some stuff, and my dad thought it was pretty interesting and even picked out some Plymouth Encore for an impending scarf.

And then he said it. I was innocently looking at some Debbie Bliss something-or-other and my dad was purchasing his yarn at the front counter. Then, I kid you not, the following words came out of his mouth: “Do you have any kind of senior citizen discount?” ok, that’s not so bad, the guy has been waiting his whole life to be old enough for an occasional 10% discount. But then he laughed and said “Well, I guess pretty much everyone who knits is a senior citizen, huh?”

~gasp~

I immediately asked if he had just said what I thought he said and whether he was trying to get us kicked out. The friendly women at the front counter laughed good-naturedly, for which I was grateful. Sheesh. I mean, is Justine Bateman a senior citizen? Huh? Is Russell Crowe* popping Geritol by the handful?? Pffft.

But we did get some great stuff. My mom got some gorgeous bulky chenille in garnet (it’s dark red/pink/purple), a couple of skeins of Odyssey yarn in Sherbert with some fuzzy pink Berocco yarn to go with it, a fuzzy sheep tape measure, and some assorted notions (I love the notions!). I got some on-sale Koigu in deep reds, Eucalan wool wash, and Knitters Little Helper hand balm. I cannot express strongly enough how much you need this hand balm. Jennie introduced me to it, and it’s amazing. It smells good, it feels good. It. Is. Good.

Also, as promised, here is a picture of the finished shawl. It’s hard to photograph an entire shawl, so I did what I could. Note the local news is on in the background with the spiffy “BLIZZARD” graphic at the bottom.

 

And here are some pictures of my new snowy day project. It’s an as-of-yet unnamed needle felted bear. Cute, huh? I’m think he looks like a Bailey, but I’m not sure.

 

 

I got the kit from Marr Haven Wool Farm I really wanted the white one, but they were out of stock and won’t have more for another month. I think the tan one turned out pretty well, considering it’s my first try. This little bear has enough of my DNA in it to clone me some day. Those felting needles are sharp! I’m definitely going to make more of these. It took 4 or 5 hours from start to finish and I really liked the instant gratification after spending so much time on that lace shawl.

I decided to try making one after seeing the work done by Norm over at Kim’s blog. She makes amazing bears as well, but those are way too ambitious for me. I’m not a very good seamstress, but poking things with sharp objects is my kind of fun! Give it a try!

*yes, I know he doesn’t really knit, and I also know that Justine Bateman’s knitted underwear is a little impractical.

 

 

 

I knew it all along, but now it’s been confirmed! Look what just come in over the newswire!

“The Man-Along has come to an end and judgment was finally passed this weekend. Knit-o-Rama’s Master of Ceremonies, Drew, announced two winners in this contest devoted to knitted menswear. The entries included a dazzling array of gorgeous sweaters and handsome men, each one worthy of a prize. Decisions did not come easy, but eventually, they were made.

The first prize, awarded for Best Overall Sweater, went to April, a descendant of the late, great Elvis Presley. Her design was based on a sweater actually worn by the King himself. “ThankYuhVeryMuch”, April replied, as she accepted her award. “That’s alright, Mama”, quipped Drew. The audience pleaded for the Elvis jokes to cease before they got out of hand. Stitchy McYarnpants, a fellow contestant and self-professed Elvis fan, quietly slipped out of her blue suede shoes and later admitted she had planned on wearing a sequined jumpsuit, but was glad she didn’t. McYarnpants had no prior knowledge of the winner’s famous relation and planned on wearing the sequin-encrusted one-piece ‘just because’. April was duly rewarded with a copy of the book Men in Knits, #10 ebony needles and silk needle bag both from Lantern Moon. We look forward to April’s future endeavors in sweater-making.

Blog-watchers were on the edge of their seats as the second award was presented. The much coveted “Hottest Model” prize had been used for months to woo some contestants’ models into performing all manner of tasks. It is reported that the phrase “Most hot sweater models enjoy modeling other stuff. Now put on this Tropical Shawl.” was actually used in at least one instance. Until the announcement was made, it was anyone’s game. After much deliberation, the contest organizer relented and declared Jon McYarnpants the winner, officially recognizing him as “Hott”. According to Drew, his decision was influenced by his boyfriend Dan’s insistence that he would buy Jon a drink if he saw him in a bar. Sources close to us have confirmed that Jon would indeed accept the proposed drink and would most likely chat Dan up for the entire evening. Upon hearing of his victory, Mr. McYarnpants turned several shades of red and proclaimed “Wow. And they didn’t even see my butt!” Ms. McYarnpants added “He really does have a nice butt!” Jon has been very generously awarded with a manly gift certificate to Home Depot. His wife is trying to decide which of the contest entries she will attempt next for her Hot Husband.”

 

Besides his fantastic butt, here are some other reasons that I think Jon is Hot:

1. He has great eyes that go between green and blue, depending on what he’s wearing.

2. He has perfect eyebrows. I pay money to have hot wax dripped on my face, then ripped off to have eyebrows like he does.

3. He makes me laugh.

4. He’s a very talented artist. He draws and sculpts exceptionally well.

5. He knows a little something about seemingly everything. He’s my Go To guy for questions about outer space, ancient history, theology, current events, and generally knows how things work. Sometimes he even draws diagrams to help me understand certain mechanical workings.

6. He is not the least bit interested in sports.

7. He had a very religious upbringing and although he has no particular interest in practicing religion, he has a good working knowledge of the bible. If someone uses their supposed Christianity as a weapon, he can recall passages, psalms and Biblical events to prove them wrong.

8. He kisses me hello and goodbye every day.

9. If they are nearby, he also kisses the cats hello and goodbye. He also came up with the habit of leaving one cat in charge when we leave together. He announces who it is just before we close the door.

10. During this past holiday season, he wore the Manly sweater I made him every time we went someplace that he wanted to look “nice”. He proudly told people that I made it for him.