Awwwwww, wook at the cute widdle cuddle buddies! Chi-Chi and Mike wuv each other sooo much.

 

Note to self: Don’t kiss Mike’s head for a while.

(They were like this for at least half an hour. Mike was marinating in there!)

 

 

OK, so much for trying to put together some kind of coherent post. I’m just going to toss out random stuff that I feel you should know:

One sock is almost done, I’m just debating about how long to make it. Since I did toe-up, I have this luxury. My calves are a bit on the tree-trunky side, so I usually prefer a shorter sock. And yet, I feel compelled to try to use all the yarn. I think I’ll make the socks short, then use the extra yarn to make some headbands to keep my hair back.

Thank you for all the reassuring comments about the book tour! It seems like we all agree that I should a.) Always travel with a posse who may or may not be in their underwear and b.) Keep a thermos full of sangria with me at all times. Sounds like a plan. I’ve also been collecting some items to use as visual aids to make me appear more engaging. Oh man, wait until you see this stuff. I’m not going to post photos right away because that would kind of ruin the shocking reality that is the MOKS Trunk Show, but once the tour is over I will.

I got a couple of treats in the mail from Amazon today. Charlene Schurch’s Sensational Knitted Socks and Vogue’s Ultimate Knitting Book. I gave them both a quick read through and I think they’re both going to be valuable resources. I think that as I get busier, I’m going to be relegated to socks for portability and ease (and because I have a whole bin of sock yarn), so I look forward to trying a few of the things Ms. Schurch has written down for all of us. And the Vogue Knitting book seems like an all around good source for the tricky things that I forget 10 seconds after I learn (like M1. Why do I always forget how to M1?) There’s also a stitch dictionary in there, and I’m a sucker for a stitch dictionary. Maybe I can incorporate some of it into socks!

Click this link, find the closest tour date to you and figure out a way to make it to a show. Grant Lee Phillips is touring and you definitely need to do yourself a favor and see him. Fans of The Gilmore Girls may recognize him as the town troubadour, but he’s so much more than that. I actually occasionally tune into that show in the hopes he’ll be strolling by. He’ll be in Boston (well, Cambridge) on August 12th and – oh my – North Hampton on the 13th. Webs AND Grant Lee in one day. Could there BE anything better? I think not. I’m definitely going on the 12th and don’t see how I could possibly avoid the 13th. Sometimes shows sell out, so it’s a good idea to get tickets ahead of time. You can listen to some music on his site and you can also just trust me on this one. Charlene and I have seen him countless times and he never lets us down.

Another artist of note is Sarah Borges. She was performing in one of the cocktail lounges at Symphony Hall a couple of weeks ago. Aimee Mann was doing a show with the Boston Pops, and she (Aimee) was brilliant as always. Sarah Borges is a new favorite since that night. I defy you to listen to the song Daniel Lee only once. You can’t. You may think you can, but a few minutes later, you’ll need to hear it again. And again. And again.

I just realized that most of the photos I migrated over from the other blog aren’t working. Oh man, I do not look forward to fixing all of that up. I hope it’s just a glitch and will be magically fine tomorrow.

Errrrm . . . is that it? Well, since I don’t really have any knitting pictures to show you, I’ll resort to the blogger classic – cat pictures.

Here is His Royal Highness, Mike. He’s the King of Trouble-Makin’ Mama’s Boys. He can’t wait for his latest loyal subject, Sir Blu of the Seaside, to start walking. You can make more trouble that way, then you can run to your mama about it.

 

 

Hee hee, look at those scary fangs! Click the picture for an extreme close-up of the ferocious Dot. rarrrrr

Check out this fantastic fiber I have! Look at that unique crimping! Its luxuriously soft and warm and I have a bunch of it! But gray is so . . . I dunno . . . gray? So I’ve decided to make it blue! I tried to catch a few steps on camera to help anyone else who has similar fiber to work with. A lot of you do and you don’t even know it!

 

I give you: “Stitchy’s Guide to Live Dying”!!**

Here are some of the tools you will need:
A large pot with a cover, food coloring of your choice (I’m using a tube of the gel kind), tongs, and a pair of oven mitts to handle the roving. You really have to be careful as it can be very hard to maneuver.

 

First, place the roving into the pot of water with all of the color added. Use a very low heat. You don’t want to cook the little guy. There’s not nearly enough meat on there to do anyone any good.

 

Cover tightly for about 30 minutes or until all the color is gone from the water.

 

The roving will dry naturally as it runs all over the house willy-nilly. The benefit of Live Dying is that the fur retains its lustrous softness throughout the process. Just look at that sheen. Check out Chi-Chi in the background. His jaw has literally dropped at the beauty of Mike’s faboo new fur. And Dot’s tongue is hanging out in desire for such finery.

 

Here is the most plush and coveted section of the roving – the tail. Just look at that loft. This is going to be one heck of a scarf! When it grows back, I think I’ll try to do something in autumnal colors.

 

I won’t be posting photos of us harvesting the fur. Those would be too graphic and bloody for my dear, delicate readers. Mike has very sharp nails.

I think we’re also going to try some psychedelic Tie-Dot fiber soon, too! Duuuude!

And now, here’s a special holiday message from our official Easter spokesbunny – the Drunken Rabbit in Yellow Pants!

 

“Huh? Oh . . . Izz springtime an you know wha that . . . hic . . . you know wha . . . hic . . youknowhathat meansss. Time to exploit the bunnies and little baby chi . . . hic . . . chicks. Nice! Why don you people chop of your own feet for luck an see how you like it? Hop down the freakin bunny trail on THAT! Lousy, rotten . . . hic . . .lousy, rotten . . . uuuurp. An another thing, who the hell invented those Cadbury Creme eggs? I love those things, maaan. Hap . . . hic . . . Hippy Essss . . . Happy Erssta . . . Happy Eeeezter! ~belchhh~

**No, I don’t really put my cat into a pot of water and I beg of you, please don’t try it. It’s a joke and Mike was crammed full of treats for an hour after we took these pictures. He has forgiven us.

 

The location of the suspicious activity is pictured here. This medium-sized cardboard box was filled to the top with Styrofoam packing peanuts. Impromptu forensic testing proved that these were not the kind of packing peanuts that disintegrate when licked. After getting a glass of water, the investigation continued. There was no forced entry into the box, so it was determined to be an inside job. Someone familiar with the residence and the location of the box was involved.

 

The scene was graphic in its untidiness. Peanuts were strewn violently at the base of the box. Specialists were called in to study the peanut spatter. No specific patterns could be established, so peanut placement was presumed to be random.

 

Amazingly, a suspect was found almost immediately. The first 15 minutes of any packing peanut incident are the most important. We were first alerted to the culprit by the conspicuous trail of packing peanuts leading directly to her. She was resistant to questioning and refused to acknowledge us.

 

Her guilt became painfully obvious when we followed her with our camera. The dry winter air combined with her soft fur would be her undoing in the end. She continued to deny any involvement in the incident and we interviewed a number of suspicious residents who may have been present. All maintained their innocence and disavowed any knowledge of the troubling event.

 

It wasn’t until we were able to obtain this dramatic crime-scene footage from a nearby security camera that any of them admitted their involvement. All suspects have been detained and will be held for questioning for an unspecified length of time. Absolutely no treats will be issued.

 

 

 

Holy crap! Almost three weeks gone and you’re still here. Thanks! You’ll never believe what’s been going on. It’s been quite a time, let me tell you. First, I was locked in Sam’s meat locker with Bobby and Greg. Man it was cold and those two are total whiners! It’s a good thing Bobby is such a shrimp, otherwise he never would have fit out the window. And since he was the one who shut the door in the first place, he pretty much had to or Greg and I would have killed and butchered him for Sam’s special of the day.

When we finally got out, we all went on a vacation to Hawaii together. You know, to take the edge off. Well, it turns out we were cursed by some ridiculous tchotchke. Yes, it’s clearly the tiki’s fault that there was a spider on the tropical island. And heaven forbid we should all just admit that Greg may not be the greatest surfer in the universe. Yes, let’s all blame the knick-knack from the hotel’s gift shop. But meeting Vincent Price was awesome. I totally thought he was dead.

So after that whole fiasco, Jan became delusional and thought she was dating a boy named George Glass. It was really sad. She actually made arrangements to have the operator call the house so everyone would think she was getting hot and heavy with “George” on the other line. Pathetic. Honey, I don’t think it’s the freckles that are scaring people away. It was almost as bad as that time Cindy had a psychotic break and thought she was Shirley Temple or when Marcia thought her dentist was hitting on her. I think maybe Carol wasn’t as careful with her pregnancies as she should have been, if you know what I mean.

Well, when Mike and Carol finally got everyone’s meds straight, this little kid named Oliver showed up and he looked like trouble, so I got the hell out of there.

So since I’ve been back, I’ve done some knitting. I am in the very unfortunate position of having someone to make a chemo cap for. My friend’s mom has lymphoma and is going back in for treatment. She will be having more than her share of no-hair days in the weeks to come. I figured she could use a fun little hat and scarf set. The hat uses a single ball of Berroco Chinchilla and since I used two colors, I used the leftovers for a little scarf. Here is a free pattern for the chemo cap. I casted on a few times using a cable cast-on so the edge would have some stretch to it and just didn’t think that size 9 needles were going to make the hat big enough. The row of 60 stitches just looked so short. I switched to size 10 needles and still had my doubts, but lo and behold, the thing grew. I probably would have been fine with the 9s. When I showed it to some friends, they each wanted a set, and I’m going to make one for my mom, too. I’ve never dared to use double-pointed needles, but I had to switch from circulars at the very end. All I can say is that I need practice.

 

I’m also chugging along on the Stitch n Bitch Hoodie. I’m hoping to have it done by next weekend, but we’ll see what happens. My mother-in-law is coming next weekend and we’re going to collect my mother and head to Patterworks on Sunday! Wheeee . . . I mean, I’m on a yarn diet, but I’m sure it will be pleasant to just do some browsing.

The color in this picture is washed out, but this is the front, back, and finished sleeve. I just have a sleeve and a hood to go.

 

And here is Mike helping me show off the front pocket. I’m very proud of this part. It came out way better that I thought it would.

 

And here is a random bit of cuteness to help you on your way. Behold the Chloe sandwich!

 

Oh, by the way. On my way back from Hawaii, I stopped by the Museum of Kitschy Stitches. They sorted out the plumbing problem (apparently all of the toilets exploded last month and they had to cancel the exhibit), and it looked like they were putting the finishing touches on a brand new gallery!

 

 

 

You gotta love a post that starts with those words, don’t you?

But first, let me get the knitting stuff our of the way. Here is a new picture of the Tropical Shawl, all blocked. I don’t know if it looks much different than the previous pictures of it, but it had definitely changed. It’s less sproingy, flatter, more mature. I gave it to Charlene to send off to Florida today. I’ll miss it. I may have to make one for myself. Lord knows I’ve got the goods.

 

And here is the back of the Stitch n’ Bitch hoodie I started. I have revised my position about the size. Elisa’s comment yesterday not only made me laugh, it made me pause for thought. I knew she was right and I’d end up hating my new ginormous sweater. I was all set to rip it, then I paused for thought again (wow, twice in one day – I need to give the ol’ bean a rest) and held it up to an old favorite sweater that I’ve worn so much that it is no longer really wearable (it’s amazing what too much deodorant does to acrylic – it’s gone all funky). Turns out the hoodie is just about the same size, so it’s full steam ahead! I’m using Classic Elite 03 Tweed. The amazing thing is, I’m actually using it for its intended purpose. I actually had this sweater in mind when I bought it. Go me!

 

Caryn’s comment also got me where it counts. It appears that January is slipping by and the great halls of the Museum are eerily quiet. Rest assured that I’m working on it and I may get it in under the wire. If not, extra treats in February!

Ooh, speaking of extra treats, my company moved and I got an office of my very own! While shopping for refurbished office furniture, I spyed with my little eye this amazing chair. The place we went to had a few pieces of antique office furniture, so this must have been part of someone’s posh lobby at one point. I knew I had to have it. It’s the most comfortable chair in the world and all who touch it with their buttocks fall instantly under its spell. And my mohair shawl looks great on it, doncha think? Audrey Hepburn suits it perfectly. Spongebob is just there to gay the place up a little.

 

My office is now the hip place to be and everyone wants to lay their cheeks in my chair. Check out the claw feet! They look more like talons, actually.

 

On the home front, this is pretty much how dinner looks at Chez McYarnpants. Classy, eh? The vultures don’t even wait for the corpse to die. Jon always gets very smug when this happens because they don’t really bother him too much. I know it’s my own fault, but I try to live a life of giving. I have a need to share, I can’t help it. Who knew a few morsels now and again would hurt anyone? I fear that if I die alone in that apartment, only my glasses would remain.

 

And with that, I will tell you what I found during my archeological dig this morning. Lots of poop and pee. That’s pretty much it. But, and I feel I can share this with you because we’ve grown close over these past few months, I did find something unnerving among the usual artifacts. I’m not going to post it right here. You’ll have to click on Dot to see what she left me. It’s for your own good, trust me. You just never know when your boss will pop around the corner and ask what you’re looking at. This way, you don’t have to say “Stitchy McYarnpants’ cat’s crap”. Not yet, anyway. Also, this is a decision you need to make for yourself. Do you really and truly want to see my cat’s crap? Really?

 

As you can see, there are distinct stitches visible in the poo. There is some kind of knitted fabric in there. Now, this is not all that surprising given Dot’s peculiar nature, but the unnerving part is that I have no idea what this is a piece of. I can only think of one thing I’ve made with red yarn and it was given to someone as a gift. Jon and I don’t really wear red, and the one red sweater I do have is in a drawer. I can’t think of a single thing in my house that is knitted and red. So either there is some mysterious, forgotten thing in my house that now has a giant hole in it, or Dot has her own stash of yarn and can knit in stockinette with her ass.

Huh.

Hey, don’t blame me if you can finish your lunch, you’re the one who clicked the picture.

 

 

Yay, the plans came together and we’re off to Rhinebeck this weekend! AND my darling Hub will be accompanying me! How’s that for an enabling husband? He keeps giving me all these reasons to adore him further.* We’ll be staying with my super cool cousin and her husband (who is also super cool) at their house in New Paltz, which is maybe 30-45 minutes away. We’re going to hang out on Saturday and head to the fair on Sunday, so please save some yarn for me, people! By then the llamas ought to be good and annoyed, so that should be fun.

I was hoping to have Manly done for Rhinebeck so my fella could look all spiffy and hand-crafted, but it ain’t hap’nin. It’s getting there, though. I’m on the second sleeve, then the collar, then I have to figure out how to put it together.

Thanks so much for all the great feedback on the MOKS. It’s nice to know that people enjoy reading it as much as I do putting it together. I hope I’m getting across my love for these patterns. As much as I tease them, I really and truly do think they’re aces. You don’t necessarily have to like something in order to love it, and so it goes with MOKS. I kid because I love, that’s just how we are in my family (you should hear the trash-talking when we play cards). I’ve actually been tempted to make those shorts because they’re just so crazy. Did I just ruin the whole thing by saying that? I hope not.

This was another windfall week for the shop-a-holic. Michaels Craft store sent out some generous flyers last week that contained a 50% and 40% off coupon for one item each. I also snagged my neighbor’s copy because she had already tossed it into the recycle bin, so we had 4 coupons! I dragged the Hub to the craft store (which he actually enjoys) and made him buy The Big Book of Knitting by Katharine Buss (which he didn’t enjoy) with one of the 50% coupons and I got a Boye Needlemaster circular set with the other one. I already have Denise circs, but I figured it couldn’t hurt and at a $35 savings, I simply couldn’t resist. I took one of the 40% coupons today and got The Knitter’s Book of Finishing Techniques by Nancie Wiseman. I’ve got one left, but there really isn’t anything else I need at Michaels. I want a blocking board that sweaters will fit on, but they don’t seem to have them. Anyone have any suggestions about what I should get?

————————————————–
*Earlier this week, he brought home a little Beatrix Potter book called The Story of a Fierce Bad Rabbit because it reminded him of our Fierce Bad Kitten, Mike. Let’s hear it for the boy – “Awwwwwww.” It’s actually pretty hilarious and if you will allow me, I would love to share it with you.

This is Mike.

 

This is the Fierce Bad Rabbit.

 

Notice the similarities, especially in the crazy eyes just looking for something to knock over?

Here is the Bad Rabbit knocking over the Nice Rabbit because he wants the carrot. This is a very common occurrence in our house (though rarely with carrots) and the other cats all agree that they are the Nice Rabbit in this tiresome scenario.

 

Then something very jarring happens. You turn the page in the cute funny book for children and are faced with this.

 

Wow. Beatrix is done screwing around. All bets are off and that little bastard just may get what’s coming to him. Mike’s furry jaw drops while the other cats cheer. But it’s a kids’ book and the man with the gun would never actually shoot at . . .

Oh.

As it turns out, the Bad Rabbit only gets his tail and whiskers blown off. Luckily, Beatrix spared us the spray of blood shooting from the rabbit’s behind, but you know that’s what the original looked like. I like to think that it made her laugh maniacally, then she calmly put it away and moved on.

 

 

Dot

 

You heard me. Dot. That adorable white cat from such posts as “Book Binge” and “Long-ass Post” is also a destructive, fiber-eating monster! She has yet to get her choppers on any of my knitting, but it is a constant and debilitating fear.

Here is some of her handiwork. She has redesigned the hood on my favorite hoodie, widened the top band one of my favorite socks, and after careful consideration, decided that my shoes looked better without the little loopy thing on the back.

 

This morning, the Hub modeled his restructured bathrobe for us.

 

This is her finest work to date. See Santa? Isn’t he cute? One year we put him out for Christmas. He really cheered the place up, until . . . (click photo to see the gory aftermath)

 

Please note Santa’s rather conspicuous lack of arms. Do you know where those arms are? Over the past year or so, bit by bit, I’ve been scooping them out of the litter box. That’s right, they were EATEN! If I had a decent camera I could show you that Santa also lacks ears. If you look closely, you can see that the very edge of his hat and coat are also meticulously nibbled.

I’ve talked to the vet and done extensive research online to learn more about this fiber habit. Turns out it’s common in Siamese cats and it’s referred to as “wool sucking” or “wool chewing”. It appears the intent is not to destroy anything but rather to ease some compulsive need to suck. Yeah, she sucks, alright. Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do to curb it. You can try to reprimand them when you catch them doing it, but we rarely see her in action. One site reported that it could be treated by removing the molars! But pretty much everything I’ve read starts off with ridiculous ideas about putting hot sauce on stuff to deter it (yes, I would love to cover everything in my house in Tobasco!) and ends the article by saying that meds are probably the best way to deal with it. So basicaly, our dear Dot has a touch of the OCD. It worries me that she’s ingesting material, but as long as she’s getting rid of it, the vet says she should be ok. What really worries me is that one day she’ll get into my or knitting bag or stash bin and have herself a buffet! I just picture her wearing a lobster bib and winding yarn around a fork like spaghetti.

In the end, we just try to keep stuff off the floor (it’s not easy for either of us, my husband and I are not exactly neat freaks). I think my mother actually likes that the cat has this behvior because it gives her the chance to say “Well, if you picked up after yourselves . . .” and trails off with a smug look that only a mother can pull off.

In knitting news, the Manly sweater is coming along smashingly! Another inch or so and I can start doing the shaping for the arms! In the photo, it looks like I’ve added a spiffy pocket, but that’s the swatch I did. I wanted to show how different it looks from the WIP. For some reason, I’m amazed at what a little washing and blocking can do.

 

Since I’ve been working mainly on the sweater, the poor neglected Hallowig has been pushed to the bottom of the knitting bag. I’ll have it done soon, I promise!

 

 

 

I’ve been very bad. I’ve been trying to curb the yarn-buying for a bit so I can use up what I have. Unfortunately, to keep my mind off yarn, I’ve bought a number of knitting-related books in the last week. Of course, 3 are pattern books, so that will require me to but more yarn.

I’m stuck in a knitting spiral!

I got Rowan #s 28 and 29 from eBay (those haven’t arrived yet), Confessions of a Knitting Heretic (spiral bound edition) and Cornelia Tuttle Hamilton Book 2 (a real bargain at 10 bucks!) Hello Klaralund, my pretty.

Still chugging away on the Hallowig and Manly sweater, but haven’t gotten any done in the past few days. Between work and social obligations, I haven’t gotten my knit on. Tonight is the night, oh yes. Tonight.

And just so you know, things like this are why I love working from home!

 

awwwwwwwwwwww . . . .